baby. baby baby baby that is totally normal. i swear to god. it is COMPLETELY normal to have rape fantasies. i mean it, it’s really really really common and it is OKAY as long as you realize it is a fantasy, and you keep it that way!!!!!! having problematic fantasies are not the issue here, it’s people who cannot differentiate fantasy and reality.
i have rape fantasies very often in which i am the victim. why do i and others fantasize about being raped? it can be a variety of reasons. you might fantasize about being raped because you like to think you are so desirable that someone just absolutely has to have you right then. you may fantasize about being raped because you are a masochist and you enjoy the idea of a complete loss of control. you may fantasize about being raped because of how much shame society puts on women for wanting sex, so it being out of your control is an avenue through which you can enjoy it shame-free.
i have been sexually molested before on more than one occasion in my life and they were some of the most sickening experiences i have ever been through, and as a result i am often violently triggered by molestation/rape in media and the news. however, i still fantasize about being raped and me and my boyfriend often roleplay rape scenarios. doing these things helps me cope with my experiences in a way because i am the one who initiates them/gives consent for them to happen and i have the power to stop the scenario simply by no longer thinking about it or by using a safe word.
does all this mean i want to be raped? NO!!!!!!!! and you clearly know that you don’t want to be raped either. by fantasizing about it, the consent is there. you are willing it to happen inside your singular mind and that makes it vastly, vastly different from an actual rape in which another party is involved and the consent is not there.
it bugs the shit outta me when people bring up the “oh no by fantasizing about it you’re disrespecting those who have been the victim of non consensual activities!” firstly, as i stated before, i have been a victim before and part of me coping with what happened to me is fantasizing in this way. secondly, those other victims are not here in my bedroom watching me have my fantasy sex, they are not sitting on my bed as i whisper in their ear about what im thinking about as i masturbate. i do not think any less of them because i fantasize about these types of scenarios, i do not take their struggles any less seriously and i would hope they would view me the same way. what i do in my bedroom is my OWN business and has nothing to do with other people.
tumblr is so quick to jump on the kinkshaming train with this and i will defend it every single time. as long as you are sitting there, by yourself, masturbating and thinking about this, NOBODY IS GETTING HURT. no actual rape is happening. you are not going out in the middle of the night in a nighty looking to actually get raped, you’re at home by yourself thinking about this. and even if you bring a consenting second party into the mix to help you act out this roleplay, then that’s awesome! do it all you want. think about WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT because it’s only in your head. the SECOND that you start to think about making it a reality is when it becomes a problem. the thought itself is not a problem.
think critically about your sexual interests and try to decide where they stem from and why you like them, that is the best way to keep yourself in check. SORRY I TYPED SO MUCH i am just so so so anti-kinkshaming and pro-masturbate-to-whatever-the-fuck-you-want-as-long-as-you-aint-hurtin-nobody.